Awhile back I was reading one my fave blogs & she referenced this post. (whether you're married or not read his post)
Like every other woman on the planet my first thought was HUH?! to the title - "Your Husband Doesn't Have to Earn Your Respect." Uhhhh Q ME yes He does! - My second thought.
I was raised in a Christian home. I am a Christian now. Growing up I always heard the man is the head of the household. He's the leader and the wife submits to him. I don't know about y'all but I don't swallow that word "submit" very well. It bugs me. Because I'm a WOMAN! A strong willed, bossy (my husband is shaking his head yes right now haha), opinionated WOMAN! Those characteristics do not necessarily have to be a bad thing if used in the right way. When you start running over your husband because you think you're "the boss" then there is a problem. I would like to think I have come a long way in the last year & couple months of our marriage. I had to learn the hard way you can't talk down to your husband to get what you want. Some men just roll over an take it. Which is wrong on their part also. The Bible talks about respecting your spouse & the man being the head of the household in Ephesians 5:21-33.
This has been a challenge for me. & I know this is a challenge for my generation especially. Its all about independent women, "I don't need a man!", "Ain't no man gonna walk all over me!". You can't bring that superior attitude into your marriage. Of course I am all for men respecting women. But you gotta give respect to get it also.
"It is a fatal problem, because the one thing that is consistently withheld from men and husbands — respect — is the one thing we need the most.Yes, need. We need respect, and that need is so deeply ingrained that a marriage cannot possibly survive if the man is deprived of it. Often, people will say that a husband should only be respected if he “earns” it. This attitude is precisely the problem. A wife ought to respect her husband because he is her husband, just as he ought to love and honor her because she is his wife. Your husband might “deserve” it when you mock him, berate him, belittle him, and nag him, but you don’t marry someone in order to give them what they deserve. In marriage, you give them what you’ve promised them, even when they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain." - Matt Walsh
OUCH! "you give them what you've promised them, even when they aren't holding up their end of the bargain" That doesn't sit well. But its the truth. You give your spouse the love & respect you promised them even when its not at all what you're feeling at that moment.
The hubs & I were out to eat for lunch the other day when I noticed he was looking out the window. I asked him what he was looking at. And he said "poor guy, its obvious his wife runs the roost". The guy did look pretty "downtrodden" if you will. Pretty much he looked like he was miserable. I can't say for sure what their situation was. But thats a pretty spot on example of what a disrespect can do to a marriage. Men thrive on respect. They need it to survive. This is how they're made.
"12. Respect him.When you do find a keeper, respect him. Make sure he knows how awesome and manly and amazing he is. Say it to his face and in front of his friends. Never criticize him, especially not in front of other people. Make him feel capable -- because he is. Let him know how happy he makes you. For men, there's nothing more life-giving than respect." -Therese Schwenkler
I am not perfect at respecting my husband by any means. I still have a long way to go in marriage in general.
But I want to respect my husband. I want him to be the head of the household and take the lead. God did not make the woman to be the leader. But he didn't make women to be walked all over either. There has to be a happy medium. Give your husband love & respect & you will get the same in return.
I usually steer clear of controversial topics like this but hey its my blog. If you don't like it boo hoo. :)
What are your thoughts on this issue?