Monday, August 19, 2013
Fear of Failure
One of the biggest fears I have had in my lifetime is fear of failure. It can be any area of life. Is anyone else this way?
Recently it was discussed with my boss that I may be able to be promoted in a couple of years or so. Depending on when she retires. Awesome right?! Yes, except I am probably going to have to go back to school in the mean time to get a degree for the position. Saying that I HATE school is an understatement. I didn't like grade school at all. I mean who did? I did what I could do to get by to graduate from high school. I wasn't one of those overachieving students. I didn't want to be or care to be. I just wanted to get out. I had no clue what I wanted to do after I graduated so I just started some basic college courses. After 4 semesters, when I should've been done with my AA or at least almost, I had failed some classes and pretty much had given up. I had no motivation because I didn't know really what I was even going to college for. I've never been one of those kids who knew exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up. So needless to say I was clueless. So I quit college. Because I hated it, flunked classes & I was wasting my parents money.
So you can see why I would be terrified of going back to school. I am older now. I'm not a 19/20 year old just floating through life not knowing what I am doing anymore. I have a purpose in going back to school. Its going to benefit me, my husband and my future children one day. (ya know if I can ever convince myself I am ready for kids one day) Also I would be making WAY more money than I do now. So that's some pretty good motivation. I think I can do it. But I'm still pretty scared of actually trying. But better to have tried and failed than not try at all right? (some important person said that, sometime in history...)
Another thing I have fear of failing at is weight loss. I mentioned in this post that my Ma & I are starting the Body-for-Life program. Eating healthier & working out. I have lost the weight before, but with a trainer. This time its just me myself & I, that I have to answer to. & my Ma. But shes not a trainer, shes not gonna "yell" at me. We have to motivate each other. & its really hard! I am feeling pretty motivated about that whole thing right now. But what about next week? Or next month? Probably not so much. But I know its going to take more than just a month to lose what I want to lose. So I've got to keep on keepin' on! I know I am really jumping ahead of myself here. But this is how my brain works. I am already worrying about "am I going to be able to keep this up for the next 2 months?" or however long.... I should just focus on today right? As I have mentioned before I am a worry wart.
Anyone else have this issue? Have you failed the task in your head before you even actually try? Thanks for reading my inner crazy ramblings! Feel free to share some of yours with me so I don't feel so crazy! Ha! :)
As usual ending with some motivational quotes!